Spec article. I'm not sure who it's by.
Clever Band Working Hard to Maintain its Reputation
The Columbia University Marching Band
announced today it is launching a search for
a new musician to play the fork at
basketball games this season.
"We already have people who play the
spoon and the knife," said drum major
Matthew Cooper, CC '88, "but we're still
looking for a fork player."
The New Musician will join the band's
large miscellaneous section, which features
instruments like coffee cans, coconut
shells, and the kazoo.
Though famous for it's march through
College Library the night before the organic
chemistry final, the band performs some of
it's most interesting antics on the football
fields. During a recent half time show at
Princeton, for example, Columbia's band
members formed a human oval space and filled
in the blanks, "leaving no stray mark" to
mock the Educational Testing Service,
located at Princeton, New Jersey,
according to manager Kathleen Webster.
Though the Columbia Band, which has a
core group of 30 members, is smaller than
other bands, "Our show is as funny or
funnier than those of other bands," Webster
The band refers to itself at "the
cleverest band in the world," and a
top-secret handbook instructs new members to
act clever, according to Webster.
"The Band has a lot of crazy, funky
spirit you don't find in other
organizations," said Cornelia Gallo, CC '88,
the band's music manager.
The bandroom is adorned with signs from
every Ivy League school. When asked how the
band accrued such a collection, Cooper said
that although stealing from other schools is
not an official policy of the band, it has
happened. "It's like in the Iliad- when they
kill someone, they take their armour,"
Cooper explained. "We're just practicing
what we learned in Lit Hum. In our victory
we take armour in the form of flags and
banners. It's a thing all Ivy League bands
The band sometimes excercises it's wit
at the expense of other schools. At a recent
Princeton game, band members filled yellow
garbage bags with rocks, and distributed
them throughout the Princeton campus.
Attached to the bags were warning notices
describing the bags hazardous contents and
listing telephone numbers to call if the bag
was located. Band members said Princeton
security accused the prank of clogging the
switchboard that afternoon.
The Prank was organized by the bands
Special Weapons and Defense Team (SWAT) [huh?]
"which is in charge of thinking of clever
things to do," Webster said.
Other band functions include playing the
Mickey Mouse Club theme as the opposing team
comes onto the field, to playing Columbia
Classics such as "Roar Lion Roar," "Sans
Souci," and "Stand Up and Cheer."
During the game, the band makes noise to
encourage the players and to keep the
audience from walking out in the middle of
the losing football games, Webster said.