CUMB | Bored
The Columbia University Marching Band was once an entirely student-run organization. Now the Band is a protectorate of Teacher's College, and repeated plebicites have yet to allow it to become a fully autonomous entity. Drew Coles is the Band Faculty Director. However, Home Rule is still organized by the managing bored:
Vivian Klotz - BC '20
After spending a year as Equipment Manager, where she wrangled both equipment and the people attached to it, Vivian "Band Mom" Klotz retained enough sanity (or perhaps not enough) to return as Head Manager. As Head you'll still find her wrangling people, only now it'll also include the only people in the world more difficult than bandies: the Alumni and the Administration. You can also find her leading our trombones in booty drops, with accompanying blasts of course. Vivian is interested in Environmental Policy because there's nothing she love s more than hugging trees - even though it gives her splinters. She enjoys sitting in on classes "just to learn" and takes tango dancing classes in her spare time - in other words, she's pretty weird. Oh, and now she has a kinky pink whip to enhance her weirdness.
Cameron Danesh - SEAS '20
Chemical Engineering with an Economics minor
Formerly known as the band's "delayed and mopey sax" by critics from the lowest pits of hell, Cameron "Can't feel my arms" Danesh was born to control this clusterfuck of a band. Previous Drum Majors have fondly remembered the job as "herding cats," something we in the band see as both mildly offensive and accurate. As Drum Major you'll see Cameron waving his arms and wondering why he only sees the backs of people's heads, and finally getting to tell someone else to "take it away." Outside of band you can find Cameron working in a Chemistry Lab or prepping for the Organic Chemistry final he won't have time to study for. He also enjoys shouting at the TV whenever the Patriots are playing, shouting at the refs whenever Columbia is playing, and not shouting at the band because he loves us. Although his school did not offer AP Music Theory, he claims he would have gotten a 5 if given the opportunity.
Alex "Chanel #7" Parkhurst - CC '19
Mathematics/Statistics with a concentration in History
Chanel "Lit? More like literature" #7 is going on her third Bored term, and we can't help but wonder how she can put up with this bullshit for so long. After having served as Equipment and Spirit Manager, Chanel is excited to begin her final reign as the Poet Laureate. Chanel is the most beautiful and smartest band member, who is also responsible for writing all of the band's content. Including this bio. Outside of band she enjoys exploring bars around the city, reading Wikipedia articles, and doing her problem sets. She can be found at 1020 on any given Tuesday, or Butler on any given night, including before, during, and after Orgo Night.
Ximena Aparicio - CC '19
Economics and Political Science with a concentration in Computer Science
After spending a year as the band's Minister of Propaganda, Ximena "JFMU" Aparicio is back and ready to turn up as our Spirit Manager. As the Spirit of the Band, Ximena is lit, wild, and probably without much of a voice. Her motto as Spirit Manager is "Every shot life gives you should be taken." On the weekend you can find her thrifting downtown or giving herself a tattoo in her basement. And, of course, listening to emo music and generally "being emo." Ximena also describes herself as a "Barnard student trapped in a CC body" and hangs out in Diana to try to convince everyone of this fact. You can generally find her on Tinder, where she receives a surprising number of messages asking if she sells cocaine. The answer is no, in case this gave you any ideas.
Josue Lecodet - CC '19
History with a concentration in Sustainable Development
Josue "Moneybags Tyrant" Lecodet was elected to Bored last term with five weeks left in the semester - giving him ample time to acclimate to our fuckery! For some reason he decided to run again (guess he's not tired of us yet!), and is excited to return as our Treasurer for a full term. As a member of the trumpet section, Josue is used to getting his way - after all, where would we be without the high brass? Outside of band, you can find Josue involved in CIRCA which takes up the rest of his free time. At other times you can find him eating or napping somewhere on campus. He's been spending a lot of time in Lerner lately and is unsure why but look for him there! As Treasurer, Josue works to increase accessibility so that all bandies can have fun despite the crushing capitalist system. Turn in your receipts!
Minister of Propaganda
Chris Mingo - CC '21
Political Science with a concentration in History
Formerly known as Intern Chris, Chris "Now the boss" Mingo is probably the most accustomed to doing his job since he has been taking control of the camera basically all semester. As a component of the miscie section, Chris has used his time during games to master the art of the camera - and most importantly catching us all at our best: with our mouths on orange juice cartons, while red-faced and blowing into a brass instrument, and, as always, with the occasional nip-slip. Outside of band, Chris is a history buff who really enjoys playing the violin. Who knows? Maybe we'll see him fiddling on the field some day. As Mini Prop, Chris sucks the band each week and will continue showing the world just how great the band is. Also, we in the band are also convinced that Chris is preparing for his takeover of the world. That's what political science will get you, folks.
Matt "Tank" Coulson - GS '20
Urban Studies with a specialization in Public Health
Although Tank "Sad Boy" Coulson is new to the band this year, he has really livened up the Sousa section by bringing out Connie the Communist Tuba for nearly every event. At games, his favorite thing to do is sit back with his sunglasses on and wait for beer o'clock. A self-proclaimed socialist, Tank can be found hovered over a drink most nights bemoaning the current state of the world. He hates the cold, but likes booze, sports and, once more for the people in the back, communism. Also, he gets low-key hype about public transportation and is known for very good bad jokes. As Personnel, he knows everyone - a real social butterfly. Point out a random person in a rugby and he'll tell you their name, school year, and favorite sex position. Oh, and fill out the damn survey.
Sam "Scammer" Muller - CC '19
After three years with the band, Scammer "Time to go harder - seriously" Muller decided to grace the Bored with his presence when he ran for Equipment Manager. As a trumpet who has been committed to band life since the beginning, Scammer knows the ins and outs of getting lit and staying on top of his shit. He's now responsible for everyone else's shit too, but don't let that make you think he's your bitch. He is NOT the band's bitch and will remind you of that. Scammer loves playing trumpet in Wind Ensemble (when he's not getting lit) and, as a native to Minnesota, he aggressively loves the state! Ask him about hot dish, pop, snow, lutefisk, lefse, and Lutherans - among many other things! And, of course, ask him the best way to be carried up a hill.
Isabel "Keanu" Sepúlveda - CC '21
Comparative Literature and Hispanic Studies
Keanu "Has a list" Sepúlveda is new to Bored this year but has already made quite the impact on the band. From her fierce fighting abilities to her artful trombone playing, she really knows how to perfect a skill. You'll see her in the low brass section jamming out with fellow bandies or in the front of the bus making sure our drivers don't steer us into the Hudson. Unless she wants them to - that's just a sampling of the chaos she has the ability to cause. When she's not in band, Keanu can be found practicing tae kwon do, writing pieces for Bwog like "Why the CUMB is the Best," and rehearsing punching you in the face. As our Travel Manager, Keanu is charged with cleaning up rental buses, which bandies have puked both in and on, but don't ask her about it unless you have an exceptionally strong stomach.