CUMB | Bored
The Columbia University Marching Band was once an entirely student-run organization. Now the Band is a protectorate of Teacher's College, and repeated plebicites have yet to allow it to become a fully autonomous entity. Stu Potter is the Band Faculty Director. However, Home Rule is still organized by the managing bored:
Cameron Danesh-Pajou - SEAS '20
Chemical Engineering with an Economics minor
After spending a year flapping his arms and not quite managing to fly away, Cameron "sax delayed and mopey once more" Danesh has returned to Bored ready to take on the only group of people who will pay less attention to him than the band did on the field: the Alumni and the Administration. When he's not answering emails until his fingers fall off, you can find Cameron trying not to blow himself up in the Chemistry lab, using science to prove the Patriots' innocence in Deflategate, and heckling unsuspecting refs at Kraft at Wein at Baker.
Max Bohn - CC '20
Mathematics / Statistics
Three years hefting a sousaphone have left Max "actual sports fan" Bohn's arms just toned enough to pull beautiful music from this clusterfuck of an ensemble. Previous Drum Majors have fondly remembered the job as "herding cats," something we in the band see as both mildly offensive and accurate. As Drum Major you'll see Max waving his arms, wondering why he only sees the backs of people's heads, and throwing basketballs into other people's instruments for a change. Outside of band, Max plays tuba for the Wind Ensemble and orchestra, so we're pretty sure he lives and breathes music. None of us have seen him eat human food. Although his school did not offer AP Music Theory, he was in All-State Band, which he tells us is basically the same thing.
Isabel "Keanu" Speúlveda - CC '21
English with a concentration in Race and Ethnicity Studies
Keanu "honorary Barnard student" Sepúlveda has finally graduated from attempting to use maxi pads to solve all the band's problems as Travel Manager, to attempting to use humor to make fun of Columbia's problems. She is the most beautiful, talented band member, and is also responsible for writing all of the band's content. Including this bio. When not in band, Keanu plays trombone in the Wind Ensemble but she mostly continues writing words, sometimes for money and sometimes for Bwog, or reading words, sometimes for class, sometimes for fun. She looks forward to the day when her body stops falling apart and she can finally fight colonialism with her black belt in Tae Kwon Do or do literally anything that doesn't involve words at all.
Matt "Tank" Coulson - GS '20
Urban Studies with a special concentration in Public Health
Since he didn't murder his vocal cords calling roll every week, Tank "wine mom" Coulson has decided to give it another try as our Spirit Manager. His motto as Spirit Manager is "Every shot life gives you should be taken." When he's not lifting the band's spirits, you can find him fighting to oppression by the bourgeoisie one public transit meme at a time. We're not sure if his love of punk music is genuine or the last thing he needs to complete his Sad Boy Aesthetic, but most of us haven't grown out of our middle school emo phases either so we can't judge.
Joelle Sherlock - SEAS '22
Joelle "we found a clue" Sherlock is new to band and Bored and she's already very tired of our "it's elementary, my dear Watson" jokes. As a percussionist in the Wind Ensemble when she's not playing snare for us, Joelle takes pride in being one of maybe five percussionists in the band's history who can actually read music. As both Treasurer and a SEAS student, Joelle regularly wows the band with her ability to do basic arithmetic and make a dope spreadsheet. She also works to increase accessibility so that all bandies can have fun despite the crushing capitalist system, and she'll fight the entire administration if she needs to. Deantini, pick your weapon!
Minister of Propaganda
Maria Pondikos - BC '22
Maria "top gay" Pondikos brought her skills to the high brass section as one of our multi-talented mellos. Now, instead of hitting all the right notes, she'll take her talents behind the camera and hit us from all our best angles: asleep in the stands with a carton of orange juice in our laps. As Mini Prop, Maria sucks the band each week and will continue showing the world just how great the band is. She's even started learning Russian, in hopes that our propaganda can give Putin's a run for its money. A Brooklyn native, don't ask Maria about her feelings about the MTA or Staten Island unless you have a few spare days on your hands.
Josh Tate - CC '22
Creative Writing with a concentration in Poetry
Josh "it's not easy being green" Tate has already made his mark during his first year in the band with his bari sax and daily sonnets. As Personnel Manager, he looks forward to figuring out the best ways to say "fill out the survey" in iambic pentameter, and making everyone's names fit into three quatrains and a couplet. When he's not in 209 for Orgo Night, Josh toils in the basement of Butler for work. Like every good humanities major, he's working on a science fiction novel that he hopes will make you question your very existence, not just why you agreed to wake up at 8 am for a football game.
Sam "Daisy" Losee - CC '22
Daisy "strong farmgirl arms" Losee is new to Bored and her position as Equipment Manager narrowly beats out her time working for the biggest drug dealer in Connecticut as the best item on her resume. Her five summers wrangling lemurs and alpacas as a zookeeper have left her more than ready to wrangle the band's instruments and closet keys. At least if she accidentally leaves these doors unlocked, she'll be setting a horde of drunken college students on a rampage instead of some enraged emus.
Sloane Clifton - BC '22
As a flute player, Sloane "basically a fairy princess" Clifton is used to sitting at the front of a group where people are only occasionally hear her, but as Travel Manager, she's usually able make everyone shut up just long enough to make sure we don't end up in the Hudson. When she's not in band, Sloane enjoys cold weather and curling up with some good books, warm candles, and piping hot cup of tea, which are much easier to find here than in Southern California. She also tutors kindergarteners every week, which explains why she thinks cleaning up rental buses, which bandies have puked both in and on, is a piece of cake. Don't ask her about it unless you have an exceptionally strong stomach.