The Yale Precision Marching Band is an organization kept in line by me, Thomas C. Duffy. I own this school, and don't you forget it. You're nothing. Without me, the band would be a bunch of kids running around and having fun, but I've made them tough, I've turned them into a rock-solid marching band which knows that humor has no place on a football field. There will be no stripping in the stands as long as I'm alive. There is no place for fun in my band.
Disclaimer: This page is a spoof. Do not sue the Columbia University Marching Band. Thomas C. Duffy is not necessarily an evil, oppressive dictator.