Cleverest Band Banned
   In a startling announcement, Richard
"Red" Rolfe, sports director at 
Dartmouth, and head of the Ivy League
public relations committee, stated
yesterday that Columbia's "Cleverest
Band in the World" will be banned from
future Ivy League athletic contests.
"Columbia's band is perenially in poor
taste," Rolfe declared. "It seems to 
thrive on being gross."
   Rolfe pointed to the band's "Birth 
Control" show, performed at Cornell last
fall, as the breaking point in a long 
line of misdeeds by the band. "I would
not have wanted my mother to see that
show," Rolfe asserted. "Because of that,
I feel that the show was definitely out
of the bounds of propriety."
   This ban will doubtless have great 
effect on the "World's Cleverest," who 
will apparently have to be content with
playing at Crew Day (if it's against a 
non-Ivy opponent) and at Barnard fire
drills.
   Richard B. Heyman '69, band manager,
could not be reached on this startling
development.